’Tis the season to return to the roost, see the ‘rents, and do some laundry (hopefully not for the first time…). And while you might be feeling like a full-fledged adult on campus or in the big city, things can skew a little differently at home. Here are some tips for handling the adjustment from a true-blue family therapist and former college student with T1D (that would be me):
Some of us really crave having people involved in our diabetes management, and for some of us, it is our worst nightmare. Knowing what your needs and expectations are gives you a chance to be proactive with your family. Instead of waiting for Mom to harp on your BGs, you can have that conversation before you go home.
On the other hand, some people might love the fact that there are people around who know the diabetes drill and can step up and help! Some things that may feel supportive include:
Boundaries aren’t always intuitive for other people, even if you think they should know what you want them to do.
A common mistake people make with boundaries is just asking people to do something. “Please don’t ask me about my food choices” is not a boundary, it’s a request. A boundary is something that requires no effort on the other person’s part.
A boundary looks more like, “I’m not answering questions about my food choices right now.” The other person could, in theory, ask questions all they want — but they know you aren’t going to engage with them on the topic.
A boundary is about what you are going to do, not asking someone else to do something.
It’s extra tricky when we’re out of our normal environment to maintain our typical routines. That’s normal. But it can also make diabetes management harder. An anchor habit is a small, consistent behavior or routine that you can bring with you to a new environment to give you a sense of normalcy and structure. It’s not about duplicating your home environment, but instead bringing a few of your top strategies home with you helps ground you and keep things from falling off the rails. You can try things like:
These are generally pretty easy ways that your family can also help you with your diabetes management that might feel less intrusive and shaming than monitoring BGs. Inviting a parent or sibling to join you on a walk can be a bonding moment! Or requesting some of your favorite homemade foods, instead of whatever they’re serving in the dining hall, can be a fun way to enjoy childhood favorites and bond over shared memories.
Heading home for the holidays can shake up your routines and your BGs, but clear communication with your family on what you need can make the transition back home a lot smoother. With a few supportive habits and solid boundaries, you can enjoy the break, reconnect with your people, and feel calm and cozy, not chaotic and out of control.